Your choice
There are many factors you will want
to take into consideration before deciding that you are willing to
accept a foster or adoptive child with HIV. Below are some
questions that will give you some things to think about.
1. Do you consider yourself educated about HIV? For
instance, do you know how it's spread? Do you trust that HIV
isn't spread through casual contact or do you feel you might be fearful
of a child with the disease?
2. Do you have other children? How do you think those
children would react to having a possibly terminally ill child come
into the home? Are you prepared to seek counseling for your
children?
3. Children with HIV or AIDS have compromised immune systems.
Consequently, even 'healthier' HIV-positive children miss a lot of
school. Is your job flexible so that you can be home with the
child during an illness? If not, do you have a plan for who might
care for an ill child?
4. Medication is a daily necessity for children with HIV, and is
usually taken multiple times a day sometimes at all hours of the night.
Are you prepared to persist with a child's medical regimen? How
about the many different follow-up appointments children with this
condition have?
5. Due to confidentiality, as a foster parent you will not be
permitted to disclose the child's condition to anyone. Are you
ready to handle questions about the child's illness, from family,
friends, schools, neighbors, or anyone who senses a problem?
6. HIV or AIDS will most likely not be your foster or adoptive
child's only problem. Will you be willing to accept that HIV
might be a secondary issue and that a child coming in to your home will
carry all the usual baggage and maybe even more?
7. A foster or adopted child aware of his/her HIV status may
choose to tell others about having the disease. Are you prepared
to become an 'educator' to those who don't know much about HIV?
Are you aware that some people still discriminate against HIV-positive
people and your family may be stigmatized due to having a child with
HIV?
There are many other things to take into consideration beyond the
issues raised above. While it is definitely a challenge and a big
commitment to take in a child with HIV or AIDS, please keep in mind
that it's not going to be exactly the way you think it will.
Terminally ill and chronically ill children bring, along with their
illnesses, an enormous amount of courage, love, and joy to families who
are willing to accept them.
While it's not a bad thing to prepare for the worst, it's also good to
prepare for the best. Many HIV-positive children thrive with
decent care. If that is the difference between life or death for
these children, then choosing to care for them can make all the
difference in the world. You won't know exactly what to expect,
but nobody ever does. Please keep that in mind as you come closer
to making your decision.
© 2003 Sarah P. All rights
reserved.
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